Our routines are the building blocks of our lives. They reinforce good habits and attitudes and both encourage and demonstrate love and commitment to those we care most about.
So what are the routines of a wife led marriage?
She flirts with himNot a day goes by that she won't find some way to express her femininity with him. If not in the morning when she wakes or before she leaves for work then, later, when she returns home to him or before she goes to sleep. Ideally, there is flirting at each and every opportunity.
Unfortunately, many working wives fall into the habit of rushing off to work and coming home too exhausted. It's tempting to think that her responsibility for the household income is sufficient. It isn't. Especially if he's spent all day caring for children, he needs to renew his emotional connection to her.
In playful teasing, she renews and refreshes her erotic power in the marriage. Often the slightest gesture and touch is sufficient.
He expresses his adoration of herEvery interaction, flirtations especially, become an opportunity for him to refresh his adoration of her. At least once, and ideally several times a day, he tells her that he loves her and reminds her of how grateful he is that they are married.
She tells him what needs to be doneShe doesn't make him guess. She doesn't assume he can read her mind. She doesn't rely on shared priorities. If it needs doing, she tells him.
But she doesn't nag. If there is any possibility that she is repeating herself or that he already knows what she is about to tell him, she tells him in a remindful manner. Instead of angrily assuming that he has forgotten (again!), she gently offers to recap things that need to be done that day.
He promises to do what she asksHe never assumes he knows what is required of him. When he is given instructions he repeats them back in his own words to confirm his understanding. And he replies in the form of a promise. He promises to do what he understands needs to be done.
She asks what's doneAt the most appropriate time she checks up on his progress. Not when she is tired and cranky but when she is fresh and emotionally engaged. Often this is after a satisfying meal and a refreshing bath.
In asking what's been done she is not only monitoring his progress on things that need to be done but she is also creating the opportunity for him to demonstrate pride in what he's accomplished. When the job is done and done well, she expresses her admiration of him. But even when he has fallen short of expectations she can still show gratitude for his efforts even as she offers correctives.
He tells her what he's accomplishedHe is proud of what he has accomplished for her and cannot wait to tell her about it. He provides just enough detail to assure her that the job has been done well. If she is interested, he may give her more details about how he managed it. But he values her time and focus and never bores her with irrelevant details.
She asserts her authorityLife is filled with decisions and every day presents opportunities for her to reassert her authority in the marriage. Whether it be a small choice or a major decision, she makes a demonstration of her authority by stating the matter to be decided and her choice. In asserting her decision she reinforces her authority in the marriage. The more difficult and contentiousness the decision, the more effective the demonstration of authority.
That doesn't mean that she never solicits his opinion. Where relevant, she does. But she makes clear the difference between accepting his opinion and resolving a choice.