Where to Find a Submissive Husband

In terms of "finding" a submissive guy I am not sure there is any one "place", though I do think some spots are more likely than others.  I am in happy possession of a very submissive fellow and part of my reason for writing this post is to reflect back a bit on how exactly that wonderful outcome occurred.  Perhaps some of my reflections will be of use to other ladies.  I hope so.

First I think I have to acknowledge that I was by no means always after a submissive fellow.  In fact, even at the time I connected with my current spouse I am not sure I realized what was happening.  Much of this is from a retrospective point of view.

Much of my early dating did not involve submissive guys at all.  That, in fact, can be a bit of a "tender spot" for my husband now as he knows his "type" is not what I always sought - at all.  Early on I dated some "tough guys" - more "traditional" manly men.  It is not that my husband is not "manly" - more that we (more me than him) have redefined our definition of manly.

Ironically, I met my husband in an office, where, I guess not surprisingly, he had a position that was subordinate to mine - though I was not his direct boss.  He was in some ways quite contrary to many of whom I had dated in college and beyond. He was quite shy and not at all aggressive sexually though I could tell he was enamored with me.  He did not have the "alpha" type persona I was more used to with males.

He was, no doubt, heterosexual but the arrogance, the aggression, the self focus was not there.  Again, I'd be dishonest if I did not admit I did (and still do) like some of those more "traditional" male qualities at times.  It was at times nice to have a "strong man" pick me up and tell me our plans for the evening.  Joe (pseudonym) was a bit "softer" than that.

Again, much of this comes from "looking back" but now I realize - he rarely argued and frequently took explicit direction from me - even if I was asking him to do something distasteful - score!  To be honest, then, I did not even really think fully in terms of "dominance" and "submissiveness".  But I did know it felt right.

Even now, I might still, occasionally, fantasize just a bit about a more "macho man" - but it is only fantasy.  I LOVE having a submissive husband.  Love it!  I know he loves me being in charge as well.  He cannot always openly express it as in front of others it can be hard at times still as I am fairly "public" in my leadership.  I hope to post later about the "public vs. private" aspects of our marriage.

So to ladies who are still unhinged and looking for a good submissive mate.  Don't look in bars!!  Just kidding, I guess you could, in theory, find one almost anywhere.  But to me the best advice is just look around your world - your place of work, your neighborhood, your past.  Who are the ones who are just a bit more deferential, shy, even a bit 'timid' with you.  Ask yourself - is one of the guys you see and like one you can feel would take your direction well?