Letters

Dear Lady Misato,

I must tell you that your instructions were dead-on perfect and started something earlier this year that still hasn't stopped progressing. My husband is completely overwhelmed. He talks constantly about the new me and not understanding where this power I have comes from. I have surprised myself actually! My husband is a strong-willed man who enjoys much control and leadership in his field, however, I dominate him with my will and lead him. He is a proud man who never shows much emotion or loses his cool in public, however, behind closed doors I bring him to his knees and even to tears. He is 6'3" while I am barely 5'5", yet, I even dominate him physically as he does not resist my pushing and pulling on him or even choking or striking him. He is completely seduced and submissive. Thank you so much for helping me to find this power within me and to put it to such use in my home. My husband constantly tells me how beautiful I am and how lucky he is - and he's right! He too is much happier and is often humming or singing around the house now whereas before he was always stressed out or grumpy. We have a wonderful life together and it so much fun and so liberating to stand alone at the top while he serves me so faithfully. He has become my knight in shining armor as I have become his glorious Queen.

Thank you!

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Dear Lady Misato,

With your help, my husband has become pretty much lovely and obedient. I have had rebellions occasionally but they were as I found out due to too frequent orgasms. I was so pleased with him that at one point we were making love every day. Slowly he became slackened in his household duties, leaving things undone and postponing errands.

Personally, I discovered that the more denied he is, then the more willing he is to submit to my desires. He is so used to me stopping his orgasms during stroking that even during love making, he instinctively asks for permission to climax.

I found that if my husband is denied for a prolonged period and made to serve me orally at the same time, his devotion increases. He becomes so much more attentive.

Another observation I have is that after an oral session, when I revisit any argument or issue, he becomes more timid and willing to agree to my ideas.

Recently he surrendered his last credit card to me and serviced me while I cut up his card.

The nature of his addiction to my femininity is still a mystery to me. I thought it was all in the mind but during stroking, he revealed how I am so intoxicating to him. Hearing him confess this was so empowering and at the same time made me more confident of my own body than ever before.

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Dear Lady Misato,

I can never get used to how good it feels to let go of my inhibitions. I freely ask my husband to do things such as clear the dishes, mop the floor, and iron the clothes as soon as the task becomes apparent. I don’t give it a second thought. My husband obeys without question always. With oral sex, I used to be conscious about the way I smell and taste. Now I don’t hesitate to demand oral sex whenever I feel like it. Even after jogging or aerobics! I come back home and demand his attention before my bath. It arouses me no end to see him before me on his knees, taking several slow deep breathes before making love to me with his mouth slowly. He even looked dejected when I push him away after a few orgasms.

Few days ago, I was pleased to have overheard his conversation with one of my lady friends after we had dinner at home. She asked if he always does all this work around the house (washing, clearing the dishes etc.). He replied that he does and enjoys doing it. When she asked why? He said it was because I wanted him to and that it made me happy. The look on my friend’s face turned from amusement to genuine amazement.

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Dear Lady Misato,

I just had to write to tell you, I have been empowered to the Nth degree by using your simple logic and method with my husband. Turns out, it’s a real big turn on for him. Even though he soon realized what I was doing - that I was becoming controlling and manipulative - that just seemed to make it more effective and sank my hooks in deeper. I have to smile and even laugh when I think of how things were a couple of months ago and how they are now. It is night and day! He was grumpy and ill tempered and controlling - now he’s pleasant, attentive, and obedient. I’m living like a Queen and loving it. I’ve never felt so alive, sexy, and in control of my life. Thank you for your informational site. Because of it I’ll soon be enjoying an afternoon bath, drawn my dearest who wants to please me so much. He’ll make our meal tonight too - and clean up afterwards - while I watch TV or read. If he’s good, and I feel like it, we’ll end the night with some passion. Who knows? I may even let him enjoy it. LOL!

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Dear Lady Misato,

I just wanted to say thanks for everything. Less than a year ago, I found your web site and I was VERY excited to get started. I loved the thought of all that attention I’ve been missing could come back to me after fifteen years of marriage. In the beginning, my husband was very reluctant to try to say the least. He started to see things my way and slowly became the man I wanted, and the man I once knew all over again. The conversation technique, everything worked. I got him into chastity, that was a slowwwww process, but eventually that was awesome too. He is VERY compliant. It was never about total control. I have it, but I don’t take advantage of it. I still do most of the housework but I do say this: if I want him to cook, he cooks, if I want him to clean, he cleans, etc. He does what I say and I enjoy that.

It’s amazing how important an orgasm is to a man. Not to get overly graphic, but it used to be one orgasm to his four, and now it’s about twenty to his one. He gets sex, just not an orgasm. I used to have little, but some sensation during penetration due to his rather small sized penis, but I have him wear this extension made with cyber skin, OH MY GOD, it’s wonderful. He would’ve never have worn that, nor would I have brought it up in our old way of life. It’s wonderful too. I would recommend it to any of the ladies who feel the same about their husband’s size. Oral sex all the time, and I have only reciprocated once since we started. I, frankly, hate giving oral sex for a few reasons, but I don’t even hear complaint number one about it anymore.

We recently went through a hurdle. I thought it was over. He demanded the chastity belt off, and said we were going back to the old way. Well, that didn’t last long, because there was NO sex at all for him. He even threatened divorce. A few ‘conversations’ brought out the problem. Other folks have noticed that he was no longer wearing the pants in our family. He was scared. We’re past that now. They still know, but he understands that it’s ok.

Thanks for everything. I honestly do appreciate it.

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Dear Lady Misato,

It didn’t take me long at all to get positive effects with my husband using your techniques.

I personally feel silly for not having realized how much more effective it is to get answers to tricky questions during manual stimulation. Now, I know it seems obvious!

After five weeks of our new routine, my husband and I have grown closer than previously. He’s opened up about many things, especially as my technique has improved.

That isn’t all. This playful approach to getting him to do favors for me works so well, he definitely enjoys it. It’s having a very positive psychological effect that I’ve never witnessed in him before.

I can’t wait to see how things improve over the longer term. There’s a lot more on your website I want to try out, but at the moment, I’m happy to be amazed with the results!

If I had some advice for any wives thinking about trying out your techniques, it would be to persevere with it. The benefits definitely build up over time, especially as most husbands will take a little while to adjust to a new situation they find themselves unable to resist. It’s obvious that different husbands will take to change in their own way. I found my husband to be quite a difficult ‘oyster to crack’, taking me about two weeks to get anything really interesting from him. The key to it is being a real woman, nurturing him but also being strong and firm at the same time. That’s not a combination of characteristics many of my female friends naturally have, but if you’re courageous enough to try it out on your husband, you’re probably going to be amazed what can be achieved.

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Dear Lady Misato,

I visited your site for the first time about two years ago. I had already considered within myself that such power could be wielded over a man, but I hardly had the knowledge or courage to begin, until I found RWDDH.

Looking back, it is hard to believe that things were ever like they used to be in my home and marriage. Since I began exercising my power and guiding my husband into a new way of thinking and acting, I have found that not only has he changed greatly, but so have I.

With some personal adaptation and variations along the way, I followed your guidance beginning shortly after discovering your site, and I found almost immediate results. I began to be spoken to in better terms and my opinion mattered more to my husband. Of course, as I have seen remarked on your site, my husband is no dummy and soon caught on to what I was doing, however, it didn't make any difference except perhaps to make him even more affected by what I was doing to him.

During the first months, and even throughout the first year, I slowly and carefully made changes and dealt with his resistance as it cropped up. He even "put his foot down" to stop me and change things back or at least return to a 50/50 type relationship a time or two, but these rebellions were short-lived and easily put down.

I would say that it took a little more than a year for my husband to just flat- out give in and accept that for the rest our lives together things were going to be different.

Fumika, he is a new man. He is everything I ever loved about him and more without the things that were not desired. He is attentive, loving, obedient, accepting, docile, respectful, yielding, romantic, passionate, and just wonderful. He is responsible for a majority of the chores around the house and does a good job taking care of them daily. He gives me a back, neck, and/or foot massage several times a week and, when needed, gives me a manicure and pedicure or does a special treatment for my hair. I control our budget completely and receive his checks by direct deposit into my account; he receives an allowance only. He has a daily to-do list that I supervise and maintain along with him and he cooks about half the meals and always cleans up the kitchen after supper.

Oh, and goodness - sex is great! I never enjoyed lovemaking as I do now. This is a benefit for him as well as we engage in some form of sexual activity quite often. Many times, he only services me orally, but still, he is more sexually gratified than ever and I am, much to my delight, in total control of our sex lives.

I could go on, but I know you are more aware than anyone else what has happened in my life. I am more confident, more sensual, more assertive - and these things have shown themselves in my work and in dealings with my friends and family as well as my husband and with other men I deal with day-to-day.

In all that has changed and all that my husband does, he no longer complains or hesitates. He has given himself over to me and, while he has his own thoughts and desires, my suggestions, demands, and interests supplant his in his thinking and in his behavior.

I wanted to write, even though it has been so long since I've been back to your site, because you were my inspiration and, via your web site, my mentor. Your advice and encouragement changed our lives and now, as we approach our 15th anniversary, we are both happier than we have ever been. Thank you so much!

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Dear Lady Misato,

Some time ago my beautiful wife showed me your web-site as we talked about how we got from point A to point B in our lives. I have read what you advocate and instruct and I must say that it was quite intimidating. Of course it is true. What you espouse concerning this ability a wife has to make such changes in her husband. I am living proof. No matter what I said or did during the early ventures she took us into in this territory I couldn't stop the changes in myself, my wife, and our relationship together.

I do most of the housework now. I don't consider this a chore but a pleasure. I owe her so much and love her so much that I enjoy doing everything I can. Her sensual hold on me is very real and while sometimes I have trouble distinguishing what is caused by my love for her and what is more guided by my sexual drive towards her, the end result is the same: I listen, respond, obey, and love every minute of it. She has, over time, taken over in every arena making most decisions or at least giving the final word: controlling our financial business, guiding me to have a new attitude in many ways, and restoring our relationship to an exciting and passionate level. My wife is certainly a real woman, one who does only what housework she wants to and no more. And one who has her husband desiring to always be her knight in shining armor giving her the best life and most happiness possible. She gives me such happiness and we have such peace and joy in our lives now. I must conclude by simply saying thank you.

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Dear Ms Misato:


Of all the things to happen to a man after years of marriage. A mostly happy marriage at that! Of all the men I’ve seen who’ve been whipped, henpecked or whatever we call it and thought, man, how do they let that happen to them? All of that and on top of it all my wife, my sweet, shy wife who everyone knows is just a quiet little mouse - she is the one who did it me! I am whipped. Whipped like I never imagined possible. She has me under her spell, under her thumb, and at her feet. Now she reveals, after my recognition that this has happened that she’s been up to this for more than a year! She showed me your web site and told me that she had already begun to realize this ‘erotic power’ but that your info really solidified to her what she could do with it and how.

And how!

This quiet little gal who used to be afraid to share her opinion openly now dictates from her perch on high and commands me at her whim. Don’t get me wrong. I didn’t want a shy little mouse per se. That is, I always wanted her to come out of her shell and be who she was and let the two of us together carry on our direction in life.

That’s not what we have now. What we have is a Lordship, a dictatorship, a one-woman, word is law, rule! Though much of our life is kept at home and private, it can’t help but be picked up on by those close to us. My friends pick on me because I call my wife to tell her where I am and to ask if I can spend money or go somewhere. I do it gladly. I do it because she wants me to. I know I’m whipped and they know it too.

Tonight is a fine example. I came in from a half-day’s work on the weekend, and there were nice little piles of clothing. Clothes I was told to wash, dry, iron, and put away. While the clothes washed, I washed up the dishes and cleaned the kitchen. Now, I am sitting at the computer while my lovely takes a bath I drew for her. All of the washing used up too much hot water, so I had to cook up some warm water for her. I did so gladly. After she gets out, I will be doing her nails for her. I know because the cosmetic bag and files and such are sitting on the counter. She won’t even ask or tell me to do it, she’ll just sit down and look at me and I will get up and get to it. This is her power and I can’t resist it, nor would I, I love it.

I’m rambling now I guess. I just wanted to tell someone. Someone like you who I assume knows how this all works. Your site had a message from some man saying that it was scary how you how us men pegged and how you knew that control like this is in every woman’s scope of possibility. I would have never believed it if I didn’t live it. I serve my wife. I am her husband still, and she respects me and loves me, but I serve her like a goddess or something and I enjoy every minute of it. She loves to live this way and does so quite well.

So, count this as another victory for your site and your method. I can keep no secret from her and she loves for us just to sit and talk now. She likes her control and practices it with every opportunity day in and day out. I think about her a lot. I love her deeply and know she loves me.

I’ve got go now. It’s time to do her nails don’t you know!? I’m so whipped! LOL I’ll probably massage her legs and rub her shoulders tonight too. What probably? I know I will. And who knows what else!? Whatever she says.

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Lady Misato,

I just wanted to tell you that what you speak of your web site is powerful and, in fact, overwhelming. I am one who did resist when my wife began to exercise her ‘erotic power.’ I recognized, after a while, that she was seriously approaching and calculating each step, manipulating me, and I put up a front against it. Every time I tried to defy or resist, she only took some time or stepped up her approach, and dealt with me on her terms. Each time this happened, her hold on me grew stronger and more sure.

Now, Ms Misato, there is nothing left for me in the area of defiance or in attempting to hold on to a sense of control or equality with her. I long for her constantly. She smiles and her eyes tell me that she knows all the time that her word is my law and her wish is my desire. When she snaps her fingers or makes a demand, I perform it. I feel drugged sometimes. Her voice, her smell, her power, overwhelms me and I love it.

Does this seem like what you expect when women follow your directives? I assume so since you indicate that this force is irresistible, even to those who defy it for a time. My wife is not an aggressive woman. She is not outspoken nor do we engage in leather, handcuffs, etc. but the fact remains, I am her servant and she is my Queen. We love each other very much, but there is no question who is in charge in our house. There is nothing I can do it seems, and nothing I would change either. 

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Dear Lady Misato,

When we married in 2003, my husband was starting a promising career. Since 2006, his career has stagnated while I have succeeded as doctor and lecturer in medicine at the university. Now I’m earning nearly twice as much as him.

In the last months, I noticed that he has been struggling with the fact that I’m more successful than him. At the same time, I’ve become more and more self-assured because of this.

Recently, though, my husband pointed me to your website, which I read and thought about. I realized how many advantages this would have for me and for our family.

Last week I was away on business trip, which gave me some time to think and plan a good and to insure that my husband would be very passionate for me at my return.

A few days before I returned, I sent him a message and told him that I had read RWDDH and that we would talk about it in our favorite restaurant when I returned.

At the restaurant, I told my husband that I had decided it was time for us to start a family. Further, I wanted him to stay at home now that I was going to be the head of the household.

As I expected, my husband tried to change some points by discussing and proposing a “slower beginning.” No doubt, this was more than he had bargained for when he pointed me to your website.

I had anticipated this and had decided to test how serious my husband was about RWDDH and how far I could go with your methods. I showed him a written resignation notice for his employer that I had prepared ahead of time.

When we got back home, I let him draw me a bath and we continued the discussion while I was bathing.

Then we went to bed and I used your conversation method. Several times I had to pretend to be too sleepy to continue, but eventually I succeeded in getting my husband to sign the resignation letter for me. After that I rewarded him with the best intercourse we’ve ever had.

It was an overpowering feeling to see my husband in the moment when it was sure that he couldn’t resist my will to make him become my househusband. Seeing him subscribing his resignation letter, I hadn’t any doubt that I could always make him do really everything I want him to by using the conversation method.

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Dear Lady Misato,

I knew something was up! I had no idea of the scale and scope though. Curious about my wife’s recent behavior and the shift in our relationship, I began checking the history on our web browser. Until about six weeks ago, there was nothing special. Then I found the link to your site.

Unbelievable! She has followed your direction almost to the letter starting months ago. As I read the pages of your site, I was stunned. Then I was angry. I printed off a couple of pages and confronted her with them. She dismissed my concerns, and although we had an argument over it all and I spent one night on the couch and another in a hotel room, we made up - but I told her I wasn’t going to play along anymore.

Not too many days later, after about ten days total since our most recent sex, I was about to climb the walls with desire. Of course, in hindsight, I know she was well aware of this. That night and the next day, she drove me mad and made me say and do things I had not previously done.

To shorten this story, she continued to practice according your methods and I became determined to put my foot down about all this!

I failed. I cannot resist her in any way. When I desire or anticipate sex, this feeling is highly advanced, but even at all other times, I still yield to her.

I have made the comment several times before to my wife over the last few months that I have felt like I’ve become addicted to her like a drug. She did accomplish her secret goals with effectiveness, and it seems I did not even have a chance to consider surrender before it actually had taken place. I was addicted before I realized what she was doing.

My wife now has total control of our finances, a new vehicle for herself, me performing various tasks such as chores and pampering her regularly, and so on. From reading your site, I presume that you might say, it couldn’t be unless I deep-down wanted it to be. I don’t believe so, but I can’t honestly say that I resent what has happened either. I don’t really know anymore. I only know that she has me where she intended to - wrapped around her finger and kneeling at her feet. I don’t necessarily applaud your guidance and method but I am blown away by its effectiveness. You have given my wife an understanding of her erotic power and courage to wield it without reservation, and she in turn, has demonstratively given me a clear and first-hand understanding of it.

In less than one year, she has transformed our marriage. She is dominant. I thought it would begin to wear out. That it was exciting to be controlled, etc. However, it only grows stronger. I don’t know where it will lead, but it is in her hands.

Lady Misato, you can chalk up one for wifedom. I am hers.

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Dear Lady Misato,
I have decided to write to you today after having thought to do so several times over the last few weeks and days. You see, my life has been changed forever due to the behavior and actions of my lovely wife. Such are not entirely new in our relationship, but have come to the forefront in the past couple of years and in recent months, culminating with her completely taking the lead in our relationship and our home.

She told me recently, as we discussed where our feelings were coming from, that she always enjoyed thoughts of being in control and specifically in control over or in place of men, but never allowed herself to emerge from her shell and really bloom into the fabulous dominant woman she has become. Never, that is, until finding web sites such as yours and a handful of others that gave her boldness.

As it turns out Ms Lady Misato, I recently broke down after several months of fighting, to one degree or another, this growing power she has over me. I have given in. I confessed to her my present feelings, that they are contradictory to my outward personality - but that I could not fight them any longer. I told her that she wins. I told her I give in. She already knew she would win/had won, and I knew that she knew even as we talked.

I also confessed by fantasies of being dominated, and controlled by sexual women or a sexual woman. And it was during this conversation that she revealed to me that she had her own feelings, from young womanhood, that only grew during our early/middle married years, that amounted to a kind of secret wish to be dominant.

Looking back, I can see where she already had a lead in areas of our relationship, and she herself pointed out times when she manipulated me to agree with her, and the like in the past, though I had not really picked up on it previously. Now, however, everything has changed. What once was sex play and bedroom fun has crept in and now taken over in all areas of our lives. The only thing that really remained was for me to verbalize that I fully recognized and accepted what had happened and how things would be from now. This I did only this past week, in part here and there, and only yesterday and last night in totality.

Having visited your web site myself, and seeing for myself and learning from her that your guide was the most single beneficial thing for her in bringing us to where we are now, I thought you may be interested to hear about our relationship and its new direction.

I am completely hers; her faithful, obedient knight and she my Queen. Our relationship is new all over again, and exciting like never before.

Thank you.

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Dear Lady Misato,

We had an interesting experience last night. He had scheduled a fishing trip for a weekend with two of his friends without asking me first. I had told him he could go but told him to check with me first before committing to a specific date. He committed to a date without checking with me because, he said, his friend could get discount rates that weekend. The problem was that was the weekend when my parents will probably visit, which I had not told him about yet. I told him he couldn’t go on the trip, and he rebelled.

We discussed but I held firm. Because he was going to have to tell his buddies that he couldn’t go because I wouldn’t let him, his male ego got involved and finally he turned bright red and said, “I’m still the man of this house.” I asked him if he was putting his foot down and he said, “I might.” I dropped it after that and just ignored him for the rest of the evening. I could tell he was anxious. I turned my back on him in bed and said, “Good night, honey.” It was the first time in a long time we weren’t going to have a stroke session.

Well, 30 seconds go by and he says, “Can we talk?” I roll over and grabbed his manhood. In less than a minute, he was apologizing and promising not to go on the trip. I could see the relief come over his face when he submitted to me. We talked about it and he said, “It’s so much better to come home from work and not have to make decisions. I feel a lot better when you’re making the decisions and there’s no conflict.” I told him that I was glad he didn’t put his foot down over this and he said, “I really can’t. We shouldn’t pretend that I’m still the head of the household. You are. I can’t stand it when I don’t please you.”

He’s taken the final step! I’m now officially the head of our household in his mind.

This morning I asked him if he wanted to think about me being the head of the household for a while before he commits to it. He said, “No, honey, you wear the pants in the family now. Keep telling me what to do. Just don’t lose respect for me.”

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Dear Lady Misato,

I visited your site for the first time about two years ago. I had already considered within myself that such power could be wielded over a man, but I hardly had the knowledge or courage to begin, until I found RWDDH.

Looking back, it is hard to believe that things were ever as they used to be in my home and marriage. Since I began exercising my power and guiding my husband into a new way of thinking and acting, I have found that, not only has he changed greatly, but I have as well.

With some personal adaptation and variations along the way, I followed your guidance beginning shortly after discovering your site, and I found almost immediate results. I began to be spoken to in better terms and my opinion mattered more to my husband. Of course, as I have seen remarked on your site, my husband is no dummy and soon caught on to what I was doing, however, it didn’t make any difference except perhaps to make him even more affected by what I was doing to him.

During the first months, and even throughout the first year, I slowly and carefully made changes and dealt with his resistance as it cropped up. He even “put his foot down” to stop me and change things back or at least return to a 50/50 type relationship a time or two, but these rebellions were short-lived and easily put down.

I would say that it took a little more than a year for my husband to just flat- out give in and accept that for the rest our lives together things were going to be different.

Fumika, he is a new man. He is everything I ever loved about him and more without the things that were not desired. He is attentive, loving, obedient, accepting, docile, respectful, yielding, romantic, passionate, and just wonderful. He is responsible for a majority of the chores around the house and does a good job taking care of them daily. He gives me a back, neck, and/or foot massage several times a week and, when needed, gives me a manicure and pedicure or does a special treatment for my hair. I control our budget completely and receive his checks by direct deposit into my account; he receives an allowance only. He has a daily to-do list that I supervise and maintain along with him and he cooks about half the meals and always cleans up the kitchen after supper.

Oh, and goodness - sex is great! I never enjoyed lovemaking as I do now. This is a benefit for him as well as we engage in some form of sexual activity quite often. Many times, he only services me orally, but still, he is more sexual gratified than ever and I am, much to my delight, in total control of our sex lives.

I could go on, but I know you are more aware than anyone else is what has happened in my life. I am more confident, more sensual, and more assertive - and these things have shown themselves in my work and in dealings with my friends and family as well as my husband and with other men I deal with day-to-day.

In all that has changed and all that my husband does, he no longer complains or hesitates. He has given himself over to me and, while he has his own thoughts and desires, my suggestions, demands, and interests supplant his in his thinking and in his behavior.

I wanted to write, even though it has been so long since I’ve been back to your site, because you were my inspiration and, via your web site, my mentor. Your advice and encouragement changed our lives and now, as we approach our 15th anniversary, we are both happier than we have ever been. Thank you so much!

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Dear Lady Misato,

About four months ago my wife began to implement a plan; a plan formulated in part with help and advice from your site. A plan that I was completely unaware of until very recently. What I believed was simply a new and exciting side of her sexually was actually her beginning to exercise, as your site defines it, her "erotic power."

Rather than go into details, it is sufficient to say that progressively and subversively she began to manipulate me by limiting and controlling our sexual activity. She also excited me increasingly by becoming more sexual in general and by introducing new "elements" into our routine.

In retrospect, I can make out a breakdown of the steps we took to get where we are today.

For about a month I simply enjoyed fabulous sex in frequency and degree never before experienced. Then, sex became less frequent, and even less frequently full-blown intercourse. At first, I didn't think much of it, believing it to be an inevitable ebb following the upswing of the previous month. As time went on, however, I found I was increasingly wanting sex and being satisified less. When I eventually complained about this, my wife starting arguing with me briefly and then stormed out of the room. (This was all planned.) As I sat in the living room, she changed into socks and a sleep T-shirt (super hot, believe me) and then came back in. She said she wanted me to come to bed so we could talk. Our talk went nearly as described in your site. She manually stimulated me as she began to manipulate my mind. She had me apologize for the whole incident and to agree that it was really my fault. Now, I look back and know this was the beginning.

Over the next few months, sex became a very calculated plan for her. She withheld from me when she needed to gain my compliance or weaken my resistance to what began as suggestions and ended up as orders; and blew my mind with wildly erotic sex when we did engage in it. In a sense, I began having to "pay" for sex, as she placed demands upon me, including housework, extra money, tasks such as doing her nails, and even just making me reveal private thoughts before "rewarding" me with the "payoff."

Ok, I picked up on it. I realized she was manipulating me, but took it as a game. I didn't take it seriously, but considered it as a type of roleplaying where she and I became something else in the bedroom than we were otherwise. I even talked to her about it; stating that since in other areas I was head of the house, etc., that in bedroom, she could rule. Could rule? She was already ruling, and she knew it. Still, she played coy and acted like it was no big deal, and things pretty much continued as they were.

I never imagined it would go this far. What was at first exciting became addictive. Her sex was something I had to have and when I went without it, I would do anything for it. And she knew this too. I have washed dishes and cleaned the bathroom consistently for about two months now. Besides this, I now often find myself serving as her ottoman, as she props her feet on me, not allowing me to sit on the sofa beside her or as her go-for, getting her drinks or a pillow. I have barked like a dog and told her private and sometimes embarrassing secrets. I have given her money and bought her expensive gifts. I always have to do her nails and on demand, I am required to give her shoulders a rub or provide a back massage.

Beyond these menial tasks and the like, she has gone from having nothing to do with the finances to keeping up with them with me to taking them over with my involvement to cutting me out and handling them herself and providing me an allowance. And this is just one example of what has happened.

I am not one of these men who absolutely like this arrangement. What I mean is, I get hard as a hammer when she turns me on and her dominance of me does turn me on; however, for most of the time I want to change our relationship. I have spoken to her before and said, "That's it. We're not having things this way anymore." She smiles, shrugs her shoulders, kisses me deeply, and says, "Whatever." I find I can say nothing. I keep telling myself this is a phase she will pass through, or it is something I will eventually grow so weary of that she will not affect me as she does, but I don't know that either is true.

She has changed the nature of our relationship. It scares me. I don't know that I like it. But I don't know what I can do about it. I do not have this power over her, nor do I seem to have anything with which to counter her exercising this power over me. I love my wife, and always have. But now...she rules me. I guess I am what some would call whipped. I don't know what to say. I cannot help but submit to her will. She is clearly my superior sexually. She has taken control outside of the bedroom using sex to condition me to her will. In a way I feel badly that she was able to do this to me and that she did it rather covertly, but it does not change anything.

Do you know what you have done? My life has changed, perhaps forever. My wife is wonderful. I am amazed at her "erotic power" and her skill at wielding it. I do not thank you for aiding her in this though. I simply stand amazed. Your method is powerful and her implementation, flawless. I am hers to do as she will, and she knows it. Do I like to admit that? Not one bit! Can I do anything otherwise? Not at all.

Amazing.

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Dear Fumika,

I hope all is well with you. I don't know if you will recall me at all as I expect you give advice to many. Not that many years ago you helped me with my situation tremendously. I was a bit on the edge with my marriage at the time. It was not "bad" but it was not "good" either. I am in deep appreciation to you because much of what you shared was not available anywhere else that I looked.

When we first "spoke" and I saw your writing I could tell instantly that you must know some things. It just sort of came through in your advice and in your writing. I am pretty sure I cannot thank you enough.

My marriage is now remarkably different. Remarkably so. You cannot possibly recall but I think I shared that I was always "the leader", the dominant one in the relationship. That was true from the start. However where I am at now is a whole different level of engagement. I have a VERY obedient husband. VERY! It suits him. It suits me and it suits us!

My own marriage and one or two girlfriends who have somewhat similar types of dispositions are all I know about. I (think) I am on the stricter more controlling side of things because that seems to work best. The wisdom you shared around "erotic power" is really super to say the very least. I can honestly say I do feel my husband worships me, devoutly and we have some rituals around that.

"Strictness" seems to work. Well. Sometimes I can almost forget that and cut him slack. He seems to need my authority and control. Another brilliant thing of yours is the "erotic conversation". I have learned more with a tube of oil and my hands than I would have imagined possible! The other night he confessed to me a longing and a closeness that he feels to me after a discipline. I have felt this from him but not heard it in words before.

I normally hold him after a discipline. Sometimes (not always) there are tears. It is always emotional. I feel the closeness as well (even though it can come right after a misstep on his part). Last time I held him, stroked his head and he did weep as he apologized. I held him a very long time. Honestly it felt wonderful both to have him take responsibility as well as to own up to it and accept what he got. I have noticed that after something like that he is very, very tuned in to me - often for days. Almost "waiting" on me in a sense.

It seems deeply, deeply emotional. I am still learning every day!

Very Best 

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Tell me about your experience with erotic power.