Have dinner ready: Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal - on time. This is a way of letting her know that you have been thinking about her, and are concerned about her needs.Prepare yourself: Take 15 minutes to rest so you will be refreshed when she arrives. Take a shower, put on something clean, shave, comb your hair and add some cologne. She has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little happy and a little more interesting. Her boring day may need a lift.
Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your wife arrives, gathering up schoolbooks, toys, paper, etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables. Your wife will feel she has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too.
Prepare the children: Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces if they are small, comb their hair, and if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and she would like to see them playing the part.
Minimize the noise: At the time of her arrival, eliminate all noise of washer, dryer, dishwasher, or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Be happy to see her. Greet her with a warm smile and be glad to see her.
Don't greet her with problems or complaints. Don't complain if she's late for dinner. Count this as minor compared with what she might have gone through that day.
Make her comfortable: Have her lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest she lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for her. Arrange her pillow and offer to take off her shoes. Speak in a gentle, soothing and pleasant voice. Allow her to relax and unwind.
Listen to her: You may have a dozen things to tell her, but the moment of her arrival is not the time. Let her talk first.
Plan a delicious home cooked meal. If she is home early, gather the family around the dinner table for a joyous meal. If she comes home late, have the children fed and in bed beforehand so that you can focus on serving her at dinner.
Make the evening her: Never complain if she does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment; instead try to understand her world of strain and pressure and her need to be home and relax.
The Goal: Try to make your home a place of peace and order where your wife can relax.
(Adapted from Fascinating Womanhood, by Helen B. Andelin, published by Pacific Press in 1965.)
Dear Lady Misato.
ReplyDeleteI am moved as I see this article posted in your blog. Discovering this article was a watershed moment in my life.
I first read it on the Real Women Don't Do Housework website many years ago. It was probably the late ninety's. My marriage was struggling and I was looking for any help I could find. I remember searching on the phrase, "how to be a good husband" and this article came up. It appealed to my heart and I began exploring the rest of your website.
The idea of me serving my wife and my wife leading was intoxicating to me and I felt like a fish who had discovered water. I read the site through with great interest and even signed up for the Wife Worship forum for a season. Several of the chapters had be stubbed in on the site, but you had not yet written them. I remember men badgering you about when you were going to finish writing the site. I felt bad because I felt they had missed the point of the site. Your response was something like, "It will get done when it gets done."
There was another article on the website entitled, something like "How to Seduce Your Wife Into Dominance." I read that article many times and probably have a copy of it on an 3.5 inch disk somewhere. I remember that the approach laid out in the article was not pushy, but inviting. Showing her what was in it for her. My biggest take-away from that article was that if I wanted a dynamic in my marriage, that I should ask for it.
I remember asking my wife for some of the things I had been reading about. I don't remember how I put it. I don't remember specifically what I asked for on that day, but I do remember being afraid that she would make fun of me. She surprised me by telling me that I was sweet and that she would love to explore this new dynamic with me.
We never turned back. This dynamic was very helpful for us through the rest of our marriage and in her final illness. Among other things, it gave her permission to require of me any care she needed (and she needed a lot) because I had been taking my instructions from her for so long.
And so, Lady Misato, I would like to say, "Thank you."
Thank you writing.
Thank you for sharing.
I am grateful and my life is better for having "met" you.
I am so very sorry for your loss. But it's wonderful to hear from an old fan. Most of the material, of course, has been refined over the years and is now in the book. I did save this piece and reposted it to my blog here. But the seducing your wife into dominance approach was taken over by another early fan, Mark Redmond, who has written a couple books and still writes a blog: http://worshippingyourwife.blogspot.com/
DeleteWhether a woman is a goddess, a queen or a lady or all together,housework is not for her.
ReplyDeleteMy husband found it difficult to get used, to do all the housework. For housework takes a lot of energy. Long term orgasm denial will ensure that the husband always has enough energy.
After a lot of time during which I rewarded or punished him, he started doing all the housework as it should.
Result:
He likes to cook for us
He likes to wash by hand, my silk underwear
He likes to prepare bath for me, with smelling salts
He love to bring me a glass of wine when I get in the tub
He does not like to clean house.
To be honest, even I not like to clean house. He does it well, because I'm looking for.