It Amazed Me!

As this is my first post to this blog I expect it will be a short one. I am new to both blogging and to the topic at hand, "Female Led Relationships". I am no expert--at all. And, in truth I feel like a lot of what I have learned has been, very, very, recent.

To be clear, I have nearly always thought of myself as a fairly dominant sort of female. Getting guys, and later, my husband moving in "the right direction" had never been especially difficult for me. I am also not someone who is averse to "using" my feminine wiles on the male species. But, to be honest I never, never, ever, dreamed that things could be even close to what they now are in my marriage. I am (still) somewhat stunned by how things have evolved.

My marriage was "ok" but lacking in some areas. I had (literally) stumbled across the term "FLR" when on Amazon books one day. I perused a variety of material and much of it sort of seemed like "fantasy" or at least not entirely real. It became apparent to me that, at least for some women, this was real. Very real. I was captivated.

Again, I have to acknowledge that I was already somewhat "in charge" in my marriage but not in nearly so explicit and comprehensive a manner as what I read about. Lady Misato's work and writing was especially powerful to me. I read it. I re-read it. I looked at other materials on the internet paying particular attention to women who seemed thoughtful and sincere. I was amazed.

I guess part of what amazed me the most was putting the eroticism front and center and virtually "on the table". We women know how men need and desire us sexually. For God's sake we have always known that. But to make it so entirely explicit - wow. It feels to me like taking some things we know and feel to their logical extension.

In my marriage now, sex has become not simply a matter of "are we getting along...well...enough". It has gone way, way, way beyond that rather placid position. It has gone more to am I, his wife, very, very, very, happy with his behavior. Does he get "gratified" all the time? Absolutely not. But the hope of it is (pretty constantly) looming out there at least in his own mind. He has become (incredibly) attentive, an excellent listener, and there is next to nothing that does not get done in our house.

In truth, I wonder, how many women in more "vanilla" marriages have not said to themselves (or their husbands) "Hey, he's done a nice job cleaning out the garage all day, let's relax in the bedroom a bit. He deserves a reward"! I think this is "extending" that sort of disposition. What has absolutely amazed me is how far it can be extended!

I am amazed, not only that this works but that my husband clearly wants to take direction. He is literally excited and seems comforted by me being "in charge". Even though I am somewhat dominant and he somewhat submissive, if someone had told me, even a year ago, that I could have my husband doing all house chores, cooking, shopping, laundry (yes all of it!) AND be happy in that role I would have never, ever believed it.

Perhaps at a later time I will go into more detail. I think the toughest part has been for him acknowledging within himself that this is "right". I have also had to make some decisions about the public part of it with friends and family but at this point even that part is moving along. I simply cannot say enough about the positive aspects of this at least for me/us. It's been a game changer.