Monday, September 14, 2015

Motivating Him With Rewards

Punishment and discipline are common words associated with a Wife Led Marriage (WLM). I would imagine many people, especially those new to WLM, envision the female wielding a whip or paddle in order to get the male to obey.  While, these are effective tools to use in a WLM, it is also important and effective to incorporate positive reinforcement and rewards into your WLM.  Positive reinforcement encourages the male to continue to be obedient and do things in a manner that meet your expectations.  This can be as simple as thanking him when he is good or compliant with your orders or rubbing his crotch when he performs well or before you give him an order.  A small gift for him is another form of positive reinforcement.

Rewards are good to use when he has been exceptionally good or has gone above and beyond the call of duty to please you.  If my husband, Thomas, has been consistently good for a long period of time I will reward him.  Thomas loves to see me in fetish wear.  I use fetish wear to often so it is a nice reward for him when I slip on my latex dress.  I am willing to do that if he has earned a reward.  I may also reward him with an exceptionally long teasing session or a by giving him a weekend of intense domination.  Isn't it ironic that many of the things that weaken him and reinforce his submission to me are also rewards to him.  I just love that! 

When I do these things, I make sure that Thomas knows he is being rewarded for his exceptionally good behavior.  I once had someone tell me they thought rewards were not good because then they become expected.  Sorry, but I disagree with that!  Rewards motivate people to do better and I see that in Thomas.  After a big reward, he is thankful and tends be extra obedient and attentive to my needs.  My rewards are earned and only given with exceptional behavior.   If he has consistently exceptional behavior and expects rewards for that, well then that's fine in my book because I am getting what I want and the rewards are working.

It is very important to incorporate positive reinforcement and rewards into your WLM.  It is a mistake to solely focus on repressing the male desires and focusing on what he has done wrong or needs to correct.  A strong and healthy WLM incorporates all of these techniques (punishment, discipline, positive reinforcement, and rewards) to manage the male and achieve obedience and dedication.